The other day I heard my colleague say this to a 19 year old son on the other end of the line - "Go to the bank at 11 o'clock - have you kept all the papers I asked you to - go and meet the manager - ………. Ask her …………. Carry ………… Say ………...
Oft heard comment from teen parents -
"I have stopped saying anything - it falls on deaf ears any which way - why waste words! "
"Maine to kuch kehna hee band hee kar diya hai - karni unko wahi hai jo unke man me aaye !!:
………and this is often followed by one loooooong sigh of helplessness!
I write this post to only tell you - You are not helpless - there is a lot you can do….. not with your child but with yourself.
Here I share another tenet of teen parenting which I have discovered after having made umpteen number of mistakes myself.
Your teen will not do what you want her to do - she will do what you expect her to do.
Let me explain…
When i say teens it doesn't indicate the age i.e. 13 to 19 only. It means all kids (these days upwards of 10) who show signs of what teens behave like.
In my years of parenting and watching umpteen number of teens and their parents around the first lesson that i took was.
Its NOT about managing the TEEN - its about managing MYSELF !
Whenever faced with a disastrous (as shown in the info graphic) opening to a conversation, a shouting match would not be something which would be the end you would be looking for.
I always remind myself "Whichever I react - I am modelling a behaviour -a behaviour which my kid would interpret as being "correct" That prevents me to react
and helps me be more